The Pinterest Epitome.

Well recently I broke one of the biggest rules I'd set for myself. I deserved a huge mommy time out. I remember promising myself I wouldn't allow my sickness to control me. And basically....I was being jerked around via leash and collar. I'm sick of that and it's not going to happen again. I was depressed, I ignored my friends, and ignored my family. Instead of reaching out I shut down. That's never good. I felt better mentally. But physically I was miserable. But something happened to me. I don't know how to explain it. I was sitting on pinterest browsing my friends pins and saw a comment someone had posted on one of those pins. Some woman said something on the lines of her never actually doing what she pinned. They were her "dream" pins that she would never achieve. Well NOT this girl. At that very moment I realized my life needed to change. I criticize people for being unoriginal but I was hiding inside this box that was smothering me. I was smothering myself. Therefore. I was determined to change.

Music.In my past existence I'm going to call it. I was against any type of music that wasn't, in my opinion, talented. If you couldn't write your own songs, if your music sounded like the next person with blonde hair and if you were top 40- I probably had no idea or clue as to who you were. Because we all know the classics are where it's at. Nah. All that is garbage now. Don't get me wrong. I'm still a sucker for some Blind Melon, Led Zeppelin and Tool. But, my new vice is Jason Aldean. (Shut up Sarah. Lol.) I think he is just awesome. Listening to him right now. Along with Eric Church, The Band Perry, *gasp* "Call me maybe." Don't hate- I'm still new to this. I know her name is Carly something.

Appearance. I've had many many many oh so many excuses as to why I wear maternity jeans and t shirts. Don't judge. LOL. I'm fat, once I lose weight I'll change my clothes, these are just way to comfortable, I never go anywhere. I could go on and on and on. But those are all just that. Excuses. It took a trip into Rue 21 to realize my clothes are more outdated than the clothes that time traveled from the 70's only to be replaced with clothes from the 80's. My wardrobe was pathetic. So I drug out the earrings and necklaces and my black leather jacket with matching shoes and clothes that weren't jeans and t shirts. I also painted my toes and my nails. I left my hair DOWN. It was so bad that even with hair that hadn't been washed in a week- because it was down and brushed and straightened with a straightener my husband , with his nose touching mine looking into my eyes said, "You look nice. Your hair looks great down." Imagine if my hair had actually been WASHED and styled. 

Life in general. My husband and I have talked forever about doing things for the home. Painting, and fixing this and that. Well we redid our bathroom. Paint, and such. Our once white bathroom is now blue :) With a color that I got from *gasp* pinterest. I'm about to put some food in the crock pot that also came from pinterest. I haven't cooked my family a deacent meal in so long. Crock pot to the rescue. Today I will be cooking while i'm cleaning my home. The twins will be working on life lessons. And I will sip my coffee for the rest of my 10 minutes of free time in peace knowing I'm actually doing something with my life. I have also re connected with my husband as well as my friends and my children.

Oh, and I shall be doing the weight loss challenge with Sarah and the rest of you momisode fans. My life is awesome. Much love.

                                                     ♥ Jen. ♥

Where Words Fail...Music Speaks

Leo Tolstoy

I was recently talking with a friend of mine about music. I was in the mood to listen to some alternative rock and, sadly, in my area there isn't a station. I said something that, at least in MY mind, was very deep and profound.

When no one else understands....music does.

Music, at least for me, is very therapeutic. Depending on my mood, music can get me through cleaning, put a smile on my face, or let me bare my soul and scream to the top of my lungs "WILL SOMEONE PLEASE JUST HEAR ME!" I've ALWAYS been this way.....there was nothing like either cranking the radio or putting some headphones on and just losing yourself in lyrics.

One of my favorite songwriters is Maynard James Keenan, the man that I consider a lyrical God. He's the front man of A Perfect Circle and Tool. That man just speaks to my soul. There is probably a song by either band that can describe, in so many words, what I'm feeling at any given moment. 

One of my absolute, all time favorite songs is "3 Libras" by A Perfect Circle. This song is just amazing. I find myself listening to it all the time, especially when I just need to breath. You can find the lyrics by clicking HERE.

Another favorite song is from another one of my favorite bands, 30 Seconds To Mars. They rank up there in probably my top 10 favorite bands. I'm not sure what it is, but their lyrics speak to me as well. When I'm angry or doubting myself, I can just drive around or pull a video up on youtube and scream at the top of my lungs "THIS IS WHO I REALLY AM!" That's from the song "The Kill".

When I think of my husband, my mind always goes back to two different songs. The first one is our song, which is "Lucky" by Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat. I always say that I'm "lucky I'm in love with my best friend". It's the truth. I am lucky to have him, as he's truly an amazing man.

The other song probably bring out my nerdy side, but it's "Come What May" from the Moulin Rouge soundtrack. That song probably describes, quite perfectly, how I feel about my husband. "Never knew I could feel like this. Like I've never seen the sky before. I want to vanish inside your kiss. Every day I love you more and more." That's truly how I feel.

In another 30 Seconds To Mars video (the one for "Closer To The Edge"), at the end, a girl said something that, for me, is very true. She said "Some people believe in God. I believe in music. Some people pray, but I just turn up the radio." This is so true for me. I find my peace in music. I find my comfort in music. Some lyrics have this ability to reach deep into my soul and pull out what I've been needing to see, to hear, to feel. 

My Dad is a drummer and my Mom has always been into music. I think that's probably where I got my love of music from. I met a man that loves music almost as much as I do. As a matter of fact, one of the first conversations between Matthew and I was about music. Our kids all love music as well. It's a beautiful thing.

Music is so much more than sound, than noise. It's feeling, it's emotion, it's something pure and deep. It's your friend, it's your savior, it's your own mind when you least expect it. Music is life....at least for me.