Tales Of A 14-15 Year Old Sarah

I'm in front

This is me when I was 14. Gosh, how young I look! No tattoos on my wrists, no scars from cutting.....

Taylor Hanson

Life was so innocent back then. I was in love with a boy that stole my heart and was simply amazing and he never even knew it....mostly because he was famous and lived in Oklahoma, but, damn it, his heart should have felt some tug to Florida, right? 

Well, I think so....

I was staring down starting high school.....I wasn't looking forward to that at all. Most of my friends, though, were going to the same school, so that helped out. It was what it was, though...high school...bottom of the barrel as a Freshman. Eff that!

My hopes back then were to be a big singer, selling out to stadiums left and right, touring with Hanson, being awesome and having an impact on the youth of America. Back then, I didn't realize that music was becoming more about appearance and less about whether or not you can actually sing. I was determined...I'd sit in my bedroom with my little boom box, a pair of head phone ('cause I didn't own a mic) and a blank tape in the cassette player, recording songs I'd written myself onto tape to send out.

Oh yea, I was dreaming big.

High school rolled around and it became an experience that I try to block out daily. High schoolers were even more cruel than middle schoolers. I had batteries thrown at me, I was picked on relentlessly. My chorus teacher wasn't as nice or as cool as the one I had in middle school, and the boys only talked to me because I was smart and willing to do their homework.

In February, halfway through my Freshman year, my Grandpa Fields passed away and we ended up moving to Kentucky from Florida and lived in his house. I started school with some old friends and met some new ones (like Patty, our Crafty mama!). School was a little easier to handle, I had friends and boys actually talked to me because they wanted to be my friend (some weird boys wanted to date me, but I was still holding out hope that Taylor Hanson would sweep me off my feet). I still wanted to be a singer, but I also wanted to go to college for something (I think psychology) and I wanted to write.

Taylor and his wife Natalie

It was a much simpler time, back then. And boy, how things have changed. Taylor never did get around to sweeping me off my feet and I finally came to the realization that he was unattainable, that he'd never date a fan, 'cause he was bigger than that, only to find out that yes, he WOULD, in fact, date a fan and would go on to prove he likes sex...A LOT (they have 5 kids!). He still makes music with his brothers and I'm still a fan. I saw them in 2008 and actually got to meet them and shake their hands and get autographs. (there is a funny story in there....they did this thing called "the walk" before their show. Patty and I were walking with them and was having a very intense conversation about baseball. I wasn't paying attention and walked right into a parking meter...with the band right behind me.) 

I'm married now and very happily so. I have 3 kids of my own and I strive daily to impress upon them what it's like to be in school. I try to get them to make sure they are polite to everyone, that they aren't mean for no reason (or any reason really). I encourage them to try things I wouldn't and to dream big!

My life didn't turn out how I'd planned when I was 14 or 15 years old. But I wouldn't trade the life I have right now for anything in this world.

My husband and I (take THAT Taylor Hanson!)

Family Game Night

Photo Credit: The Cameron Council Communique

My husband and I are going to talk tonight, after the kids go to bed. There are a few things that need to be discussed, the biggest being that we need to do more things together as a family. 

Now, that doesn't mean that we need to spend loads of money on entertainment, but I think we need to schedule a weekly family movie night, where we eat pizza and veg in the living room, watching a family friendly movie, and a family game night for us and the older kids. Having Cailin join in would complicate things, so we are going to come up with something we can do with her.

I think this is important on several fronts, the biggest being that Matthew works such long hours and doesn't get to spend a lot of time with the kids, especially Sebastian and Anastasia. He doesn't go in until later in the morning, but they are already gone to school. He gets home around 7:30ish and we have dinner, they get ready for bed and do their nightly wind down. He, really, only gets about an hour a day with them. 

Something has to give.

We have Monopoly and we DID have Uno, but I think Cailin hid the cards somewhere. We use to have a Wii and we'd challenge them to dance offs in Just Dance or we'd bowl or something like that. So I'd really like to get another Wii to bring that back, plus a few more board games, some that are Cailin friendly, some that are to be played after she goes to bed.

Photo Credit: clipartof.com

We need to re-connect as a family, because I feel it's important and will foster a deeper trust. We both want them to feel they can come talk to us about anything and we want them to do so at any time, so we both need to relax a little bit. We already make sure we sit down and eat together as a family...that's extremely important to us and studies have shown that a family that does that is healthier.

But it seems like, once the day is done, dinner is eaten, I'm exhausted and ready for the kids to go to bed so I can unwind, Matthew is tired from working all day and the kids are particularly cranky and in bad moods.

Not only do we need to re-connect as a family, but as a couple, Matthew and I could use a re-connection. We need to make more time to just shut the TV off, turn off the computer and sit and talk. We use to do that a lot, but here lately, it's few and far between. Admittedly, a lot of that is my own fault because I just want to unwind and not talk to anyone. Plus I've let my own bouts of depression get in the way of my own relationship.

Sometimes, you just realize that it's time to take back your life and take back your family. I guess I've had that realization. I need to make some healthy changes to my life, for myself, my husband and my kids. I need to get this weight off me, I need to focus more on not letting my depression get the best of me and I need to focus more on getting my house and everything cleaned up and staying that way...that usually puts me in a bad mood. I want to learn to provide my family with healthier meals that leave them full and satisfied but that are good for them. 

I guess, overall, it's time to make certain changes in my life that are much needed. And its time to do it now.

How to you spend time with your family?

~Sarah

School Supply Shopping, Birthday Parties and Turning 7

Sunday, my big babies will be 7. Holy Crap! Where did time go?! It seems like yesterday, they were babies, now they are turning 7 and starting 2nd grade next month!
We finished up our birthday shopping for them yesterday. Sebastian is getting a Transformers watch, a big Optimus Prime (to go with his big Bumblebee and Megatron), and the 2nd Transformers movie (this is all from us) plus the first Transformers movie from my mom (she lives in FL and couldn't be here. It's the first birthday she's missed). Anastasia is getting a Hannah Montana watch, a Justin Bieber CD and the Justin Bieber movie "Never Say Never" (I told her that Walmart sold them all and wouldn't get anymore, so she will be really surprised!) from us and a Monster High doll from my mom. Should he remember, my husband is getting the money order so we can reserve the community room for their party on Saturday. I'll go and finish up the decoration shopping and stuff like that probably Friday. I can't WAIT to see how their cupcake cake turned out. We got them their own, in the shape of a 7. Sebastian's colors are red, blue and yellow (OP and BumbleBee colors, of course) and Anastasia's are pink, purple and yellow (her fave colors and yellow for Bumblebee). I'll post pics and stuff after we have the party.
As I mentioned at the beginning, school starts 8/10. I'm SOOO excited! We went school supply shopping last night. We got everything except tissues and looseleaf paper. They were sold out of those. We are going shopping for clothes and shoes this weekend (note to self, find Rack Room Shoes coupon). We are really doing good this year. We usually wait until the very last minute and miss out on everything. I'm excited to go to the open house and meet their teachers. I'm friends with Anastasia's 1st grade teacher and we attend the same church, so she's a big help too.
Time is flying by and I can hardly believe it......in a blink of an eye, they go from babies to big kids.....